lost another one

I starting to feel like the child nobody wanted. After I got home . I just went into my room and just cried. I really don't want to do any ballet right now . She gave me so much hope! Now it is gone. I really don't want to look for another teacher . Her reason : Svetlana run a non profit ballet school . She is the artist director and head administrator for fund raising. Right now she is into raising money . Her Partner Venti Petrov is doing a Broadway production .That he is directing . So, I can not go there . I am not good enough to be put into beginning pointe class. I am a student in that gray area that one one knows what to do with. Maybe ... I just .. I don't know do .

Svetlana from lumiere ballet

Well It is Saturday ..D-day sort of speaking. As promised , I showed up a little before 2:30.
I brought pictures of some toetap dancers ,and my art work . Sort of a ice breaker and Svetlana seemed interested in seeing them . When we spoke the week before. As we waited for the studio . I opened my portfolio and let her view the art work . She said I had a real understanding for the physics of the dance. Svetlana had to speak to the mothers of the group for a few minutes .Before she entered the studio with me . So, I went ahead As I entered the main studio . I came across a grey floor material . Some sort of floating floor with a echo . I know because when my shoes hit it . My stomach muscles tightened when it resounded into the mirrored room.I started to sweat... a coldish sweat. There was some benches by a wall before the main studio . I moved towards a started to remove my shoes and socks. At the moment Svetlana came in. Saying you can wear socks for today. I want to see your shoes . I opened my bag and showed her my blochs pointes and slippers. The slippers was new I still had not worn them . She picked up on that as soon as the hit her hand . I told her I don't even know how to do a tondu.. Oh why did I say that!
We moved towards the main studio She said Face the bar . I grabbed it like it was a life line . I rolled up my pants . Then followed her into first position Then she starts a 4 /4 down beat count . With each movement of her foot .. What .. I in trouble ! All I have to do for now is follow. She was teaching a tondu in 4/4 time.All the todus when she was done with them .She stopped at which I thought ,we was all done ...wrong! It was time for the pointe shoes and releves! I did not catch it at first because she rolled the R. When she said, you say it releve. A lump in my throat formed. OMG! In first from flat to demi to pointe back to flat,.. Then in second. I have been with physical trainers for 45 minutes .. and I have got to say . They never raised my heart beat like she did. I was sweating for real! She moved me through so many things today to see my alignment. It is still a blurr. We moved back to the area of the benches and, talked a bit.
I asked her ..you wanted to see my alignment. What did you find out .? She answered I was pleasantly surprised. She looked at me and said I am not going to charge you for to day.Come back next Saturday same time . I replied I could kiss you..thank you.
I have a TEACHER! Wa hoo! Damn I hope I remember all the steps.!

A Teacher maybe?

To all my friend who read the previous blog.
Well I done a few stupid thing in my day . That one is in the top ten so far..
I had a dear friend for many years now. She has never scolded me in anything until yesterday.
Also, I never had a future teacher tell me don't do anything else on your own . That what I here for.
To keep a promise to a dear friend . I went to seek another teacher . Svetlana from lumiere ballet was suggested. A Russian teacher it was thought that the male teacher would have .Taught me due to him being a male Russian trained dancer . It was thought he would have understood my complex set of problems.
I arrived in deer park about noon. Entered to studio , and was addressed by a woman behind a desk. I heard her talking to another dancer about getting a foot doctor. When she addressed me ,I suggested my cousin Alan Brey . Gave her his name and where he was . I said maybe I should tell you a little about myself before, I get rejected. I told her about my first encounter in elementary school with dance and ,how my mom did not want her child in tights.Told her about the previous teacher , my pointe shoes and, how I prep my feet for pointe work . At that point, she said you do not need to do all that. That the third ballet dancer that said that to me . She made me an appointment for next Saturday at 2:30 my time. She wants to see my alignment. I still don't know what she means. I told her I was trying to do a Echeppe. She said without missing a beat ...your not ready for that yet. I told her I don't understand the ballet terms . She whipped back that what I am here for. I show you...you do! Call me Friday to remind me .

At that point I left . Sweating... and I did not really know why?!
Damn My knee is really numb. My Physical Therapist is really going to lay into me on Monday for that stunt!

Stretching in first

While trying my feet at a Echeppe


I discovered My feet would not bend into the proper


Ballet position. As you can see from the picture . First and Fifth position are at a 180 degree feet rotation. From the normal feet position. No matter how hard I tried ,I just could not get my feet into ballet form.


I tried it bare footed with skin gripping the rug . I managed to hold it with some slipping. So, since I am somewhat a stubborn person . I will find a way. maybe not the correct way.Yet, a way.
I was sitting at the computer. With the ballet bar next to me .Just starring at it .Asking my self "how can I get my feet like the picture." Need someway to keep them in position....Mmmm to push against.

I remembered that I had the 2x4 piece of lumber that I used .Before, I changed over to the metal feet for the ballet bar. The lumber was still the same size as the ballet bar in length. I removed the small side bracing's .So, I had one long piece of lumber . I laid it down across so, the ends of the ballet bar.So, they touched the wood.
Now standing in front of the bar . I addressed it. Hello ballet bar ! giggle.. sorry a little humor.
I placed my feet far apart a drew them together into First position . I must say one thing .

OMG! My muscles feel like there ripping! From my toes into the knees to my lower back! My eye ball are rolling into the back of my head! To quote Dr. Smith "oh the pain ..the pain..the pain!!!!"
With my feet still now glued in the first position. I rolled my back into a circular motion and bowed over. I moved leaning away from the bar and then back to it. I was determined to hold this position. After a minute or two . I pushed one foot away and pointed it ,then pulled it back. then did the same with the other side . Then tried to let go of the bar . Not a good Idea. . After five minutes the pain level did go down a bit . I then tried to Releve in this position . Did it to a full demi pointe. Then returned to First. With a little problem . I sure with a little more practice. I can remove the wood all together .
There must be a easier way. To stretch out the feet . Any sugestions?